Il MaRE
by Un-Oodle-2 evo leldoon
Summary: Aya discover that he likes Yohji but both are not admitting it


Author's note : I went to watch a movie called Il Mare and love the setting too much, so I used it as Aya's new apartment. All the characters do not belong to me! I am just playing around with them since I got nothing better to do.  
  
  
He wanted to push his limit. Wanted to do a test. Although he is well aware of the answers.  
  
"I am getting to be like those women who have nothing better to do"; he smirked, running his hand through his hair.  
  
His fingers ran through them smoothly, not like his thoughts that were all tangled up.  
  
Pathetic.  
  
Now that he is finally given the chance to live life on his own, he is not certain of how to go about doing it.  
  
He had bought a house on the sea. The house will be in the sea when it is high tide. A staircase leads right to the water while the other end has a zigzag path that leads to land. He named it Il Mare, sea in Italian. The furnishing was already there when he bought it. He liked the setting. He liked the sea. Liked to wake up watching sunrise and to stare at the waves, liked to feel something alive around him even when his heart is dead. He wanted to detach himself from the world. That can be easily achieved. He had never been what most people will call normal. He is a freak, incapable of any human emotion.  
  
Yet he feels the pain of not being able to love, not being loved acutely. Is there anyone who is aware of his existence? Does anyone cares?   
  
He is not certain what he is really waiting for.  
He seems to be waiting for a call, a letter that acknowledge his presence and to drag him back into reality, before he get lost.   
  
  
"Knock! Knock!"  
  
Aya blinked, an irritated look on his face. No one knows he lived here, he has no letterbox, he has no neighbours.hell..he dun even have friends..  
  
Walking pass the audio system which is playing a jazz song softly, Aya swing his door open suddenly.  
  
"AH_". The hand that was posed to give the door another round of knocking paused in time as the intruder looked at Aya sheepishly, seeming to be caught off guard. Like he did not expect anyone to be home.  
  
"…". *Winced silently*. The last person he want to see at the moment, not when he had not given up completely.   
  
"Yohji."  
  
"Maa, for a moment, I was afraid that you had forgotten my name! I always remember people's name, even_"  
  
"Even those who had only spent one night with you?"  
  
"Hey!" Slipping out of his shoes, Yohji entered the premise while Aya gave a grumble before closing the door. He hates to have his peace disrupted for the rest of the evening. But he hate himself more because…because   
he wanted Yohji to come. He does not give a damn about the rest of the people. If it was not Yohji at the other side of the door just now, they will be in the sea now.   
  
Yohji did not wander around the house. He had opened the window that occupied one whole side of the living room. The sea breeze tossed his hair around, pulling at his linen shirt, showing his lean build as his shirt wrap around him.  
  
"You must be wandering why I am here, how do I get here, ne?"  
  
"Hn."  
  
Yohji took a deep breathe before turning around to face Aya.   
  
"I miss you." Yohji stared at the floor while he waited for his statement to sink in.  
  
"Try harder" Aya missed the hurt look as he walk to the kitchen to get 2 cans of beer.  
  
"Ha, I guess only a woman will believed me ne?" Yohji broke into a grin as he follows Aya into the kitchen. Retribution. He had joked around too much around Aya. Now he had only himself to blame if Aya cannot take him seriously.  
  
"Only a brainless one will believed you, or a stranger."  
  
"Ano, Aya, I think you had become a bit more mean since I last saw you! And I thought that you might have emm…become a better man with this new environment."  
  
"Shut up."   
  
What the hell, if people can change for the better just because they live by the sea, then the prison should be built in the middle of the sea.  
  
"Actually, I just wanted to see how you are. Omi had been nagging me about you. He seems to have got the idea that I will know where you are. Told him that you will be alright."  
  
Omi. So it had been Omi. I should have expected it.   
  
"Sorry to take up your precious dating time." Aya replied in a flat tone. It came naturally, to lash out when he feels hurt.   
  
Yohji was still blissfully unaware of the impact his last statement had made. He was blabbering now. He hoped Aya is convinced with the Omi reason his pea-sized brain had came up with. He never really takes orders from Omi. And he felt that Aya should be aware of that, He is their leader for god's sake! He wanted to, needed to see Aya…Ever since he moved out, he keep thinking about where he is, what he is doing. It is driving him mad. And Omi's innocent questions about what is bothering him is not helping much. He will rather die than admit that he is worried about that cold-blooded guy. Well..Omi is not even aware of his trip today.  
  
"Satisfied? "  
  
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It was nighttime. The whole house was engulfed in darkness except for the dim light that was projected from the television. Some stupid MTV was currently playing itself on the screen. The audio system was still on, playing something very opposite in genre from the MTV's song. Aya put the control onto the table slowly and silently, his action carefully crisp like he was at a mission. Laying down onto the sofa and putting his hand behind his back, he gazed at the ceiling. He like to keep the television on, like to watch the shadow it cast onto the walls even though the volume is not on.   
  
Spent all you time waiting  
For that second chance  
For the break that will make it okay  
  
It was after a mission. Omi and Ken had gone to sleep because they were tired out. Aya could not sleep. Going to a mission is like drinking a strong cup of coffee. The aftereffects keep him up, making him extra grumpy in the morning. Making his way to the balcony in the dark, he caught the shadow on the floor in front of the balcony's sliding door.   
  
Yohji.  
  
He was leaning onto the railings with a cigarette in his hand. A beer can was balanced on the railing at his side, a pool of water gathering at its base.   
  
And he sighed.  
  
Aya was a bit startled by that small wistful sigh. He din know that I-dun-know-how-to-be-unhappy-Yohji will sigh too.  
  
He stood in the darkness and observed Yohji as he took another drag. Yohji's eyes were closed, his face tilted slightly upwards to catch the gentle night breeze. He dun know why, but he just got the feeling that his eyes were closed. The wind must be a bit cold, coz Yohji throw the cigarette butt over the edge and rub his hands over his bare arms. That movement stopped abruptly.  
  
Aya got a weird feeling. He cannot pinpoint the feeling… it is like that action reminded him of something that had happened long ago.   
  
His heart was filled with an overwhelming desire to protect.  
  
To protect Yohji.  
  
He made his way back to his room silently. He felt guilty for standing there watching Yohji without his mask, for not seeking his permission.  
  
And he still cannot sleep.   
  
If it were Ken or Omi at the balcony, would he feel this way?   
  
He wanted to talk to Yohji, wanted to share his burden. He has no doubt that the moment he stepped onto the balcony, Yohji will revert back to his cheerful self. Nobody in the team will talk about this kind of stuff with him. Hell, he hated this kind of stuff. He hate to display any morsel of concern for anyone, hate to show that he is capable of feeling because he is afraid, afraid to be understood. Afraid that someone cares about him. He dun want to be bounded by these feelings. Yet he wanted Yohji.  
  
So he took his katana from it's usual place and start to polish it.   
  
Maybe this will drive those stupid feelings away, Maybe he will be his usual cold aloft self after an hour…Maybe he can imagine he is back on a mission, where he feels nothing as weak as concern.  
  
"Knock. Knock."  
  
Aya's hand nearly slips over his katana. The person at the other side of the door..the only person awake in the apartment…damn..he forgot to lock the door too…  
  
He freeze in the middle of the room like a deer caught by the light, his eyes staring at the door..willing the door not to open. Yohji will think he is asleep, he will go back to his room and sleep…and   
  
The knob turns slowly.  
Yohji did not lift his eyes from the floor as he closed the door slowly behind him. His gaze wandered from the floor to Aya's bed and it took him a moment to realize that the bed was empty. His head turn and was greeted with a withering glare from Aya.   
  
"A-Ano..you are awake?"  
"…."  
"Man, you really got a life, polishing your katana now?" Yohji recovered slightly as he teased his leader, sitting himself on the bed.  
  
Aya felt like an idiot, sitting by his window polishing his katana was not exactly what he would consider interesting. And he wanted to strangle some long hair baka for making him feel like one.  
  
"So?"   
  
Yohji took a peep at Aya. He had moved to keep his katana and is standing in front of him, his arm crossed.  
  
"I wanted to ask you out…but I thought you might be sleeping."  
  
Aya raised a fine eyebrow and stared at him squarely, giving him his full attention. Ya, and you decide to take a peep without waiting for my permission.  
  
For a moment, nothing was said. Yohji seems to have given up but did not make any move to leave the room. Aya was well..Aya just remain standing there. He can stand there the whole night.  
  
Finally, Aya grab his coat and walk out of his room. Pausing at the door, he deadpanned, " I am not waiting for you!"  
  
They ended up at the cinema; they ended up watching City of Angels.   
  
There is always some reason  
To feel not good enough  
And it is hard at the end of the day  
  
It was the first movie he had watch since he became Aya. And it was sad. Even love cannot fight the force of death. Yohji's eyes were moist when he came out. Aya had merely walked out with his hands in his pocket. He might have stared at a blank wall for 2 hours and came out with the same expression. But he never tell Yohji that he was touched to the core by the movie, that he like the feeling of watching a movie with him. Yohji was silent all the way as they strolled under the moonlight. Neither had drive and now the streets were deserted.   
  
"Want to go for a drink?"  
  
"Anything."  
  
Yohji led the way to a pub called Lips. They settled themselves at a corner. The light was dim and flashing. Few people were dancing in the middle of the pub which has a small dance floor. Aya sipped his drinks slowly as Yohji polish his off at an astonishing rate. He has to remain sane to get Yohji home. At this rate, he will be drunk soon. He prayed that Yohji would not do anything embarrassing while they are there. Apparently the god disliked him coz he immediately felt a jerk on his hand and he was dragged off to the dance floor.   
  
"Yoh-"  
His words were drowned by the blasting music the moment he stepped onto the dance floor. Yohji was dancing now, his body moving perfectly with the rhythm.   
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
